Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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