I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Randomize
