I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
