help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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