I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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