Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
