i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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