I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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