he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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