So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
