So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
