we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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