Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Screwed.edu
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
