well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
