Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
