Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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