This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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