If i come over, it means nothing
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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