I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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