a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
