Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
