Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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