He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
the raccoons are back...
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