I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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