Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
