It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
