He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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