But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
