You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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