The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
