Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
