these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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