Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Green mimosas i think yes
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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