It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
it was like eating out sand paper
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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