i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
