i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
