Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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