Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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