I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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