he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
