matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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