Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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