marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
