she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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