He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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