when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
