CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
