i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
