farters have to be the big spoon...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
