dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
