That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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