If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
