god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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