I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
